In With The New

new-years-eve-1004535_1280Well 2015 is now in the rear view mirror. Welcome to 2016! My hope is that you all made it safely through the craziness of the New Year’s Eve celebrations, however you chose to celebrate. Party animal that I am, I dozed off sometime before midnight watching the Mythbusters Marathon. My 11 year old woke me up at 12:01 to say he had just watched the ball drop in Time Square. Party On!

First and foremost this means that at noon today there will be 385 days until Obama is out of office. That countdown can’t progress quickly enough. Until then we have debates, caucuses (cauci?), primaries, conventions, ads, and desperate emails from desperate candidates to look forward to. In January we have two Republican debates (on the 14th and 28th) and a Democrat debate on Sunday the 17th – sure to cut in to the viewership numbers for the NFL Divisional Playoffs. Then in February things kick in to high gear, starting with the Iowa Caucuses on February 1st. That will be followed by three more Republican debates, another Democrat debate, the New Hampshire primary, Nevada Caucuses, and South Carolina primaries. By the time I get to vote in the Florida primary on March 15th the GOP field should be somewhat thinner.

But enough about politics, this is supposed to be a happy day of celebration.

I’ve never been big on making New Year’s Resolutions, and when I have my record on keeping them has been pretty dismal. Instead, I try to renew my commitment to living by a philosophy I’ve mentioned several times in the past – Always be content, never be satisfied. Too often I observe others (and myself) living the opposite. To explain, being content means that I am happy and peaceful no matter what circumstances I find myself in. Being content in those circumstances does not mean that I have to be satisfied by them. Being satisfied means (as I define it here) not striving for more, not improving, not moving forward.

The difference is subtle to be sure, and the balance is difficult to achieve, but it has been and continues to be my goal.

My hope for you is that 2016 is a great year. So, full speed ahead. Make it so.

Out With The Old

I have always been fascinated by New Year’s Eve and the beginning of a new year. A new year cynic might say that going from December 31st to January 1st is no different than going from (in this case) from any Thursday to Friday. But I’ve always thought of it as so much more.

The ending of one year is always an invitation to look back. Without a doubt there have been things happen this year that I wish had never happened. There are even more things that didn’t occur that I hoped would – for instance that life changing windfall the Nigerian prince promised me.

In the balance this has been a pretty good year. While I spent a few months this year (again) being unemployed, I am back working for a company that I really like doing a job I enjoy with more potential than I’ve known for a long time. The possibilities and promise on the job front are an exciting part of looking back at 2015.

It was also a year of getting a few old debts paid off. It’s hard not to get excited about that. My take is that paying off old obligations is like giving yourself a raise.

It’s also good to be writing again. I’m never going to be the most consistent blogger. I’m easily easily distracted and chronically lazy, not a great combination for a blogger. That’s OK. I enjoy the…what was I saying?

As I write this New Zealand has already rung in the New Year. When this posts the US east coast will have 12 more hours until 2016. I hope that as you look back on the year ending that you’ll be able to see more good than bad and more hope for a great new year. I’ll add my thoughts about looking ahead tonight.

Oh, Chip!

Well it’s not even the New Year and I already got one wrongChip Kelly will keep his job.

Er, not so fast.

Today, Jeffrey Lurie, Chairman and CEO of the Philadelphia Eagles, released Head Coach Chip Kelly.

“We appreciate all the contributions that Chip Kelly made and wish him every success going forward,” said Lurie.

Coach Pat Shurmur will be interim head coach for Sunday’s game against the New York Giants.

Lurie learned one lesson from watching the team this year; like many of the offensive series he went three and out.

So, I’m going to ignore my original prediction like the media ignores Hillary’s crimes and say that this won’t be the last personnel change the Eagles make.

Man Misunderstands “Show Us Your Weapon” Command

The perp was unclothed, but he wasn’t unarmed.

LAKELAND, FL (WFLA) – A man is in critical condition after he was shot by a Lakeland police officer Monday night.

The incident started around 8:45 p.m. Monday when the man’s girlfriend called police to request officers watch over her as she retrieved some personal items from her boyfriend’s home on Turtle Rock Drive. She wanted officers to stand-by to avoid a confrontation with the man, identified as Wesley Cook, who turned 44-years old on Tuesday.

Two officers responded to the home and knocked on the door, as they wanted to speak with him regarding obtaining the female’s personal property, including her cell phone, which police say Cook had taken during an earlier dispute.

That is when police say Cook answered the door naked, carrying a black handgun.

Cook continued out the door with his weapon drawn. He also had his gun out.

Diner at the Drive-In

Meth, it’s what’s for diner.

LECANTO, FLA. (970 WFLA)-A hungry woman was arrested after a loss prevention officer inside Walmart says he watched 20 year old Josseleen Lopez driving a motorized shopping cart through the aisles.

His attention was drawn to her because of a half empty wine bottle she had in her basket.

He watched as she allegedly picked up a package of sushi, open it, eat a piece and then put the sushi back on the shelf.

The loss prevention officer says Lopez did the same to a package of mini muffins and cinnamon rolls, and claims she ate almost an entire rotisserie chicken while driving around the sales floor.

Her “meal” included cinnamon rolls, sushi, mini muffins, and two bottles of wine to wash down the chicken. The total before tax was $31.30. Must have been the good wine. She was also found in possession of three empty syringes that she admitted to deputies she used to shoot up with meth.

Sunday Soothsayer 12/27/15

A look back at last week’s prognostications and your look at what’s to come. First lets see how I did last week.

blewitEagles over the Cardinals by 7. What can I say? I’m an optimist. – Yeah, I got that one wrong. And then last night Washington ended the Eagles season. So much unfulfilled promise.

Sometime this week, in the midst of the stress, last minute activities, joy of spending time with family, sadness over loved ones no longer with us, and the happiness of being with those we love, God will remind us that he gave us the best gift possible. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 – I pray that you found this gift and that you will treasure it all year long.

Since this is the last Sunday of 2015, this week I am letting you know what’s in store for the year to come.

  • In sports – Chip Kelly will keep his job, mostly because Jeff Lurie didn’t realize that when he gave Kelly the power over all personnel decisions that included the head coaching position. As for the Phillies (much as I hate to say it), they will be eliminated from the post season some time in June.
  • There will be a push for the political parties to learn a lesson from the sports world – namely setting a date for trimming your roster for the presidential nomination.
  • Young democrat voters will pull the lever for Bernie Sanders saying, “The mashed potatoes and gravy are my favorite part of his meal deal.”
  • Bruce Caitlyn Jenner will once again decide that this really isn’t who he she it is. Fifi Jenner will win the Westminster Dog Show.
  • A few quick hits from the world of entertainment: Some celebrity will name their baby something stupid. Some film that no one paid to see will win an award. Nude pictures of a former Disney star will surface. Unfortunately they will be of Buddy Hackett. A celebrity, probably more than one, will use an award show to speak out against gun owners while being surrounded by armed body guards.
  • By the end of December you will be tired of hearing about El Nino. Oh wait, that should have been December 2015.
  • Several famous people will die. People will remark how spooky it is that they die in threes. I will be forced to point out that, no, they die in ones and we stupidly count to three and then start over. Also, someone famous will die and people’s first thought will be, “They were still alive?”
  • Science will point out with absolute certainty that something we once thought good for us is in fact bad for us. They will also point out that something they had previously declared bad for us is actually good for us. These are the same people that will tell us that mankind is going to destroy itself with global warming, or cooling, or climate change. They may warn us that we are in danger of global stasis – “A state of stability, in which all forces are equal and opposing, therefore they cancel out each other.” This will confuse and panic people, and really, isn’t that the goal?
  • You will be shopping in Wal-Mart and will see another patron whose appearance will make you wish for a DeLorean, a flux capacitor, and blindness.
  • Apple will introduce a product that everyone must have. No one will be able to adequately explain why.
  • Bacon will be outlawed as offensive to Muslims. This will be the straw that finally awakes a sleeping populace.
  • College students will continue to push for a free, no-stress, no requirement education. Their diplomas will be printed on Quilted Northern.
  • All new music will be free. It will be worth every penny.
  • Someone’s grandmother living in the North East will be honored for having the last phone still attached to a wall. When interviewed it will be discovered that she is also the last living person who still knows anyone’s phone number.
  • A kindergarten student will be arrested and suspended for saying that girls have cooties. He will be exonerated when it’s shown that they really do.
  • Uber will expand to movies. Actually you’ll just be going to some strangers house to watch Netflix and eat microwave popcorn.
  • The 2016 election will conversely have the fewest number of voters and the largest number of whiners about the results.
  • I will post three times a day. Hahahaha. Wow, I almost wrote that with a straight face.
  • I will reach 600 hits. It will be a glorious December.
  • My adoring readers will help me buy a new computer.
    Donate Button with Credit Cards

Now you know what 2016 has in store. Add your thoughts and predictions in the comments.

For Unto You

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2:8-14

A Typo to be Thankful for

A one digit typo 60 years ago led to one of the most enduring modern Christmas traditions.


shoupThe tradition began in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. advertisement misprinted the telephone number for children to call Santa. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief’s operations “hotline.” The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check the radar for indications of Santa making his way south from the North Pole. Children who called were given updates on his location, and a tradition was born.

In 1958, the governments of Canada and the United States created a bi-national air defense command for North America called the North American Aerospace Defense Command, also known as NORAD, which then took on the tradition of tracking Santa.

It has long been a favorite tradition around our house, especially since NORAD started tracking Santa’s journey on the internet.

Thank you to Col. Shoup for turning a human error into holiday magic, and to the NORAD staff, family, and volunteers who keep this important mission “flying” and have done so for 60 years.

Track Santa’s Flight

At least she didn’t over react

I am pretty sure there’s a cave painting somewhere in France that depicts Mr. Caveman getting kicked out from beneath the Saber Tooth Tiger rug after he had a few large Mastodon burgers. Mrs. Caveman’s reaction was mild compared to this woman.

Donald Fitzroy Meikle told police his wife, Dawn, elbowed him on the arm when he passed gas in bed. This happened early in the morning on Dec. 11. Meikle said she eventually kicked him out of bed because his flatulence wouldn’t stop.

The victim said his wife let him back into bed. He passed gas again, according to the report, and she started to kick and elbow him again. Meikle said he held his wife for his own safety. During the struggle, she suffered a split lip and he suffered several scratches across his chest.

I don’t know what Don had for dinner, but things didn’t stop there. His bride called 911. And that’s not all.

Police said she also sprayed pepper spray to keep her husband out of the bathroom.

I betting that up until then Donny boy was laughing and thinking it was pretty funny.

There’s no way they are ever going to get the smell of mega-farts and capsaicin out of that house. I’m guessing they’re going to have to nuke it to glass.